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all the ways i promise to love you

They say when you are loved by a writer, you never really die. The words I write will let what we have live forever. And this is how I will love you.

I will love you with all the love my tattered heart can give. I cannot love you in song lyrics the way you can love me but I will love you in my own ways.

I will love you with all my oceans of love; it’s a good thing you like swimming. I will love you with appreciation and wide eyes, if only to catch a glimpse of how you see the world.

I will love you when my feet hurt and it’s hot but you just look so happy to keep walking. I will love you when I eat kale or eggs. I will love you when I’m intoxicated and my love will never stray to foreign arms because god knows if I think about you this much when I’m sober then it’s only heightened by the alcohol.

I will love you when you talk about science stuff that goes WAY over my head. And I will love you by being legitimately interested and curious because I want to be a part of your world. When you talk with passion in your voice it’s exhilarating and all I want to do is be a part of it. I will love you in photographs, not so I can share them with the world (although sometimes I will), but so that I can capture you in that moment in time and be able to look back and still remember the way you made me feel.

I will love you in the scrawled notes in my Moleskin of things to do and quotes and words that remind me of you. And I will love you in the pages I pour over, trying to recount all our moments together just so that on those days when you’re not here, I can re-experience falling in love. I will love you in the sticky notes I leave myself to remind me to ask you about that one thing you mentioned in that one text that other day. I will love you in the notes in my phone that keep track of all the little “you” facts I learn. Because maybe one day I will need to remember what your favorite colors are or how you had purple hair.

I will love you in all my little collections: pebbles, sad flowers, words, and precious kisses.

I will love you in all your forms. I will love you by always being reachable after a bad day or good. I will love you tenderly and passionately. I will love what we were, what we are, and what we could be.

This is how I will love you.

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